Citvadquat is a god.

She takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, overgenerous elephant.

Citvadquat created the universe seven billion years ago.

If you believe in Citvadquat, she will smite all your enemies.

If you do not believe in Citvadquat, she will turn you into a rock.

Citvadquat's most sacred site is Gomba in Hungary.

Citvadquat's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if three tapirs approach from the east.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Do not speak about peanuts.

4. Erect a large silver sculpture of Citvadquat on top of all buildings.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.