Sogpadcap is a god.

It takes the form of an exceedingly large, caring chicken.

Sogpadcap created a charm quark eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Sogpadcap, it will not care.

If you do not believe in Sogpadcap, it will turn you into a tree.

Sogpadcap's most sacred site is Paavola in Finland.

Sogpadcap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not cook food in pots.

2. Never feed tomatoes to gulls while wearing jumpers.

3. Do not covet oxen.

4. You must love Sogpadcap.

5. Do not commit murder.