Cadnellarmtagnurstikkemhun is a god.

It takes the form of a six thousand metre long, unselfish snake.

Cadnellarmtagnurstikkemhun created carbon six thousand years ago.

If you believe in Cadnellarmtagnurstikkemhun, it will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Cadnellarmtagnurstikkemhun, it will destroy your favourite star.

Cadnellarmtagnurstikkemhun's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Cadnellarmtagnurstikkemhun's Holy Commandments

1. Hide from violet manatees for they are unholy.

2. Never hurt great tits.

3. Learn five new languages a year.

4. Never write about nucleic acids.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate porpoises.