Jinlenfig is a god.

She takes the form of a microscopic, strong deer.

Jinlenfig created a charm quark eight billion years ago.

If you believe in Jinlenfig, she will give you the power of flight.

If you do not believe in Jinlenfig, she will turn you into a worm.

Jinlenfig's most sacred site is Bertkow in Germany.

Jinlenfig's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about photosynthesis.

2. Do not take Jinlenfig's name in vain.

3. Show mercy to disobedient children.

4. Hide if nine ducks approach from the east.

5. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.