Janbadran is a god.

She takes the form of a huge, vain wolf.

Janbadran created light two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Janbadran, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Janbadran, she will destroy your home galaxy.

Janbadran's most sacred site is Gulval in England.

Janbadran's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink water in white rooms.

2. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

3. Learn five new languages a year.

4. Do not wear silicon on your body.

5. Always help sick goats.