Zencimlargquim is a god.

It takes the form of a heavy, emotional frog.

Zencimlargquim created an electron six million years ago.

If you believe in Zencimlargquim, it will give you a free planet.

If you do not believe in Zencimlargquim, it will destroy your home solar system.

Zencimlargquim's most sacred site is Tatul in Bulgaria.

Zencimlargquim's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Do not chop down trees.

3. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

4. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

5. Do not speak about onions.