Satdagquill is a god.

He takes the form of a five thousand metre long, selfish jaguar.

Satdagquill created a photon eight thousand years ago.

If you believe in Satdagquill, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Satdagquill, he will think nothing of it.

Satdagquill's most sacred site is Nuorgam in Finland.

Satdagquill's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill badgers.

2. Never think about ultrasonics.

3. Pray towards the south.

4. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

5. Show mercy to disobedient children.