Bogcebvonk is a god.

It takes the form of a large, clever shrew.

Bogcebvonk created a charm quark five million years ago.

If you believe in Bogcebvonk, it will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Bogcebvonk, it will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Bogcebvonk's most sacred site is Hej in Sweden.

Bogcebvonk's Holy Commandments

1. Never feed cherries to dolphins while wearing stockings.

2. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

3. Do not keep nine bats in a large pit.

4. You must love Bogcebvonk.

5. Feed all hungry monkeys.