Gutbabdagbetcimneggan is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly large, astonishing lobster.

Gutbabdagbetcimneggan created the Sun seven million years ago.

If you believe in Gutbabdagbetcimneggan, she will be surprised.

If you do not believe in Gutbabdagbetcimneggan, she will jump up and down fuming with anger.

Gutbabdagbetcimneggan's most sacred site is Dumadumana in Botswana.

Gutbabdagbetcimneggan's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. You must pray to Gutbabdagbetcimneggan eight times a day.

3. Erect five copper sculptures of Gutbabdagbetcimneggan on top of important buildings.

4. Do not wear iron on your body.

5. Put Gutbabdagbetcimneggan first in all things.