Ganmutton is a god.

It takes the form of a very large, all-powerful gnu.

Ganmutton created viruses four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Ganmutton, it will celebrate by creating some universes.

If you do not believe in Ganmutton, it will throw large rocks at you.

Ganmutton's most sacred site is Ilmola in Finland.

Ganmutton's Holy Commandments

1. Always pray in complete darkness.

2. Always obey Ganmutton's priests.

3. Never talk about moons.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Retreat if six tortoises approach from the north.
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