Wapdibmid is a god.

He takes the form of a two thousand metre long, resourceful gorilla.

Wapdibmid created a strange quark three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Wapdibmid, he will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Wapdibmid, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Wapdibmid's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Wapdibmid's Holy Commandments

1. Run away if seven snakes approach from the south.

2. Never think about moons.

3. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Always wear orange.