Bemgatkangess is a god.

It takes the form of a very fat, confident goblin.

Bemgatkangess created the planet Earth six million years ago.

If you believe in Bemgatkangess, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Bemgatkangess, it will turn you into a sheep.

Bemgatkangess' most sacred site is Outchimedu in India.

Bemgatkangess' Holy Commandments

1. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

2. Never hurt badgers.

3. Do not drink water in brown rooms.

4. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

5. Do not trade with those who eat pineapples.