Dimtamlat is a god.

She takes the form of a massive, capable hippopotamus.

Dimtamlat created energy four quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Dimtamlat, she will look favourably on your prayers.

If you do not believe in Dimtamlat, she will send five hundred and sixty eight geese to peck you to death.

Dimtamlat's most sacred site is Farnetta in Italy.

Dimtamlat's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about nucleic acids.

2. Never think about dwarf planets.

3. Never feed corn to rats while wearing black shoes.

4. Run away if four horses approach from the south.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.