Randitwig is a god.

It takes the form of a three hundred metre long, prudent otter.

Randitwig created humanity three million years ago.

If you believe in Randitwig, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Randitwig, it will denounce you as a heretic.

Randitwig's most sacred site is Questenberg in Germany.

Randitwig's Holy Commandments

1. Never play with disobedient children.

2. Never talk about special relativity.

3. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.

4. Pray towards the south.

5. Never wear skirts.