Appzanwod is a god.

He takes the form of a slim, strong octopus.

Appzanwod created Europe five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Appzanwod, he will celebrate by creating some galaxies.

If you do not believe in Appzanwod, he will name a particularly small and pointless comet after you.

Appzanwod's most sacred site is Elatos in Greece.

Appzanwod's Holy Commandments

1. Do not stand on grass.

2. Never look in ponds.

3. Never play with disobedient children.

4. Never pour water over plants.

5. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.