Xemmutpit is a god.

He takes the form of an enormous, ruthless dragon.

Xemmutpit created gold three billion years ago.

If you believe in Xemmutpit, he will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Xemmutpit, he will curse you and those you beget for seventy quadrillion years.

Xemmutpit's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Xemmutpit's Holy Commandments

1. Do not wear zinc on your body.

2. Never talk about shrews.

3. Do not sprint in public.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of base metals.

5. Always look both ways before crossing roads.