Dutpadmum is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely small, merciless crane.

Dutpadmum created the Milkyway two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Dutpadmum, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Dutpadmum, he will not invite you to parties.

Dutpadmum's most sacred site is Úbeda in Spain.

Dutpadmum's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Dutpadmum.

2. Worship no other gods but Dutpadmum.

3. Never think about special relativity.

4. Nematodes are unholy and should not be approached.

5. Always stare at clouds.