Nibzimzan is a god.

He takes the form of a gargantuan, unjust seal.

Nibzimzan created the Milkyway three million years ago.

If you believe in Nibzimzan, he will ignore you.

If you do not believe in Nibzimzan, he will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Nibzimzan's most sacred site is Trujillo in Spain.

Nibzimzan's Holy Commandments

1. Your grandchildren must be taught to worship Nibzimzan.

2. Always treat snakes with great respect.

3. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

4. Do not fashion models of living things.

5. Do not imbibe mustard, for it is unholy.