Zakquamsab Hognildim is a god.

She takes the form of a three hundred metre long, prudent otter.

Zakquamsab Hognildim created the Cigar Galaxy eight million years ago.

If you believe in Zakquamsab Hognildim, she will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Zakquamsab Hognildim, she will torture you forever.

Zakquamsab Hognildim's most sacred site is Bodieve in England.

Zakquamsab Hognildim's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Never talk about dwarf planets.

3. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Never write about the inheritance of acquired characteristics.

5. Zakquamsab Hognildim must be the most important thing in your life.