Cebnakjam Lopdavtit is a god.

It takes the form of a rotund, stupid fish.

Cebnakjam Lopdavtit created a Higgs boson five billion years ago.

If you believe in Cebnakjam Lopdavtit, it will approve.

If you do not believe in Cebnakjam Lopdavtit, it will turn you into a mole.

Cebnakjam Lopdavtit's most sacred site is Sirama in Madagascar.

Cebnakjam Lopdavtit's Holy Commandments

1. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

2. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

3. Do not make images of living things.

4. Do not shave your back.

5. Erect a large nickel sculpture of Cebnakjam Lopdavtit on top of all buildings.