Flabgarkab is a god.

She takes the form of a chunky, all-knowing narwhal.

Flabgarkab created the Whirlpool Galaxy four thousand years ago.

If you believe in Flabgarkab, she will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Flabgarkab, she will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Flabgarkab's most sacred site is Pontelandolfo in Italy.

Flabgarkab's Holy Commandments

1. Always prostrate yourself in the presence of your elders.

2. You must never eat turnips.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate dolphins.

4. Your children must be taught to worship Flabgarkab.

5. Erect a giant zinc sculpture of Flabgarkab in the centre of the settlement.