Lakmapdit is a god.

He takes the form of a nine hundred metre long, sapient raccoon.

Lakmapdit created Europe nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Lakmapdit, he will give you lots of gold.

If you do not believe in Lakmapdit, he will refuse to believe in you.

Lakmapdit's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Lakmapdit's Holy Commandments

1. Never think about evolution by means of natural selection.

2. Do not take Lakmapdit's name in vain.

3. You must pray to Lakmapdit six times a day.

4. Treat sacred texts with the utmost of respect.

5. Do not wear gold on your body.