Lamfidsand Taldibdam is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely thin, narcissistic bat.

Lamfidsand Taldibdam created the cosmos five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Lamfidsand Taldibdam, he will approve.

If you do not believe in Lamfidsand Taldibdam, he will send four elephants to rub you out.

Lamfidsand Taldibdam's most sacred site is Esse in Finland.

Lamfidsand Taldibdam's Holy Commandments

1. Paint representations of dwarf planets on the walls of your dwelling place in yellow.

2. Always help dolphins in need.

3. Hide from brown grasshopers for they are unholy.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate otters.

5. Do not make images of living things.