Bopliphamvilfligrat is a god.

It takes the form of a five hundred metre long, omnipotent clam.

Bopliphamvilfligrat created a charm quark six billion years ago.

If you believe in Bopliphamvilfligrat, it will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Bopliphamvilfligrat, it will send three marmosets to sort you out.

Bopliphamvilfligrat's most sacred site is Úbeda in Spain.

Bopliphamvilfligrat's Holy Commandments

1. Permit no heathen within the settlement walls.

2. Your children must be taught to worship Bopliphamvilfligrat.

3. Worship no other gods but Bopliphamvilfligrat.

4. Always make a point of helping unfortunate whales.

5. Always make sure there are no swans in a building before entering it.