Taprulmap is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, selfish giraffe.

Taprulmap created a strange quark seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Taprulmap, he will not care.

If you do not believe in Taprulmap, he will come to you in dreams.

Taprulmap's most sacred site is Mmankgodi in Botswana.

Taprulmap's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill otters.

2. You must never eat limes.

3. Look mercifully on unfortunate grasshopers.

4. Never talk about fire.

5. Run away from green turtles, for they are unholy.