Minflisfum Gutsaghan is a god.

She takes the form of a gargantuan, weak owl.

Minflisfum Gutsaghan created viruses two years ago.

If you believe in Minflisfum Gutsaghan, she will look after you all your life.

If you do not believe in Minflisfum Gutsaghan, she will turn you into a goat.

Minflisfum Gutsaghan's most sacred site is Gadna in Hungary.

Minflisfum Gutsaghan's Holy Commandments

1. Always wear magenta.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Never mention swans.

4. Always help sick seals.

5. Erect a giant pink sculpture of Minflisfum Gutsaghan in the centre of the settlement.