Omtwitdod is a god.

He takes the form of a massive, confident gorilla.

Omtwitdod created the planet Jupiter four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Omtwitdod, he will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Omtwitdod, he will jump up and down on your head.

Omtwitdod's most sacred site is Faux Cap in Madagascar.

Omtwitdod's Holy Commandments

1. Never talk about spacetime near sharks while wearing indigo dresses.

2. Never talk about fire.

3. Never pour water over plants.

4. Retreat if four frogs approach from the east.

5. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.