Bamsismat Kabwikjad is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, tranquil fish.

Bamsismat Kabwikjad created the world six trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bamsismat Kabwikjad, she will grant you five wishes.

If you do not believe in Bamsismat Kabwikjad, she will think nothing of it.

Bamsismat Kabwikjad's most sacred site is Cudillero in Spain.

Bamsismat Kabwikjad's Holy Commandments

1. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

2. Never feed lots of cherries to gulls while wearing cyan kilts.

3. Do not drink water in turquoise rooms.

4. Always make sure there are no cats in a building before entering it.

5. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.