Fadbodwignil is a god.

She takes the form of a heavy, overgenerous newt.

Fadbodwignil created Europe four trillion years ago.

If you believe in Fadbodwignil, she will make you immortal.

If you do not believe in Fadbodwignil, she will send you a strongly worded letter.

Fadbodwignil's most sacred site is Ifaty in Madagascar.

Fadbodwignil's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill tapirs.

2. Never look at black holes.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Never talk about quantum gravity near dogs while wearing red corsets and balancing five tin spheres on your neck.

5. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.