Talzimzim is a god.

It takes the form of an extremely heavy, unselfish horse.

Talzimzim created a bottom quark five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Talzimzim, it will grant you three wishes.

If you do not believe in Talzimzim, it will turn you into a tree.

Talzimzim's most sacred site is Kardous in Egypt.

Talzimzim's Holy Commandments

1. Walk at least four thousand metres per day.

2. Never talk about asteroids.

3. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

4. Do not trade with those who eat rice.

5. Worship no other gods but Talzimzim.