Janqueegapp is a god.

She takes the form of a very large, capable hedgehog.

Janqueegapp created Africa three hundred thousand years ago.

If you believe in Janqueegapp, she will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Janqueegapp, she will turn you into a dog.

Janqueegapp's most sacred site is Pandamatenga in Botswana.

Janqueegapp's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no bats in a room before entering it.

2. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. You must pray to Janqueegapp five times a day.

4. Do not commit murder.

5. Do not take Janqueegapp's name in vain.