Jiphogvid is a god.

She takes the form of a galaxy-sized, ruthless fish.

Jiphogvid created humankind two years ago.

If you believe in Jiphogvid, she will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Jiphogvid, she will turn you into a blue tit.

Jiphogvid's most sacred site is Demsin in Germany.

Jiphogvid's Holy Commandments

1. Always stare at clouds.

2. Do not eat melons.

3. Always make a point of helping unfortunate tortoises.

4. Paint representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place.

5. Never eat beans.