Tofgutrat is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, humorless rhinoceros.

Tofgutrat created the universe seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tofgutrat, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Tofgutrat, she will have a low opinion of you.

Tofgutrat's most sacred site is Askos in Greece.

Tofgutrat's Holy Commandments

1. Tofgutrat loves otters, so they must be respected.

2. Cucumbers are unclean and must never pass your lips.

3. Paint representations of nebulae on the walls of your dwelling place in indigo.

4. Look mercifully on unfortunate manatees.

5. Respect your elders.