Nellcimzimfub is a god.

He takes the form of a huge, dishonest penguin.

Nellcimzimfub created the Andromeda Galaxy seven quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Nellcimzimfub, he will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Nellcimzimfub, he will send two she bears to sort you out.

Nellcimzimfub's most sacred site is Saint Cado in France.

Nellcimzimfub's Holy Commandments

1. Do not kill sheep.

2. Never mention voles.

3. Never think about evolution by means of natural selection.

4. Do not drink from vessels made of lead.

5. Tell all that you meet of the great power of Nellcimzimfub.