Dibfunyok Niltinhak is a god.

It takes the form of a three thousand metre long, compassionate wombat.

Dibfunyok Niltinhak created parasitic wasps seven trillion years ago.

If you believe in Dibfunyok Niltinhak, it will answer your prayers.

If you do not believe in Dibfunyok Niltinhak, it will remove you from existence.

Dibfunyok Niltinhak's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Dibfunyok Niltinhak's Holy Commandments

1. Always look after injured bats.

2. Do not drink water in green rooms.

3. Always make sure there are no swans in a building before entering it.

4. Dibfunyok Niltinhak loves birds, so they must be honoured.

5. Look mercifully on unfortunate grasshopers.