Nanmatbarn is a god.

He takes the form of an extremely large, irritating bat.

Nanmatbarn created dark matter nine billion years ago.

If you believe in Nanmatbarn, he will grant your every wish.

If you do not believe in Nanmatbarn, he will manifest in front of you.

Nanmatbarn's most sacred site is Hongcun in China.

Nanmatbarn's Holy Commandments

1. Always make sure there are no frogs in a room before entering it.

2. Look mercifully on unfortunate mice.

3. Do not eat gooseberries.

4. Never talk about the strong nuclear force.

5. Do not shave your legs.