Vogvensasbonkkop is a god.

He takes the form of a very thin, tranquil chicken.

Vogvensasbonkkop created an electron two quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Vogvensasbonkkop, he will look on you favourably.

If you do not believe in Vogvensasbonkkop, he will make you grow a tail.

Vogvensasbonkkop's most sacred site is Minnigaff in Scotland.

Vogvensasbonkkop's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Always treat otters with great respect.

3. Radishes are unclean and should not be eaten.

4. Always help pigs in need.

5. Do not eat figs.