Hintik is a god.

It takes the form of a large, generous cat.

Hintik created dark matter nine trillion years ago.

If you believe in Hintik, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Hintik, it will destroy your home solar system.

Hintik's most sacred site is Kgope in Botswana.

Hintik's Holy Commandments

1. Never jump in the presence of snails.

2. Do not speak about limes.

3. Never mention turtles.

4. Always stare at clouds.

5. Retreat if three birds approach from the west.