Tunmanstan is a god.

He takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, proud badger.

Tunmanstan created an electron eight trillion years ago.

If you believe in Tunmanstan, he will celebrate by creating some planets.

If you do not believe in Tunmanstan, he will come to you in dreams.

Tunmanstan's most sacred site is Leswalt in Scotland.

Tunmanstan's Holy Commandments

1. You must love Tunmanstan.

2. Always treat gulls with great respect.

3. Never think about gravity.

4. Never play with disobedient children.

5. Never pour water over plants.