Metbembagzenhabapp is a god.

It takes the form of a thin, unthoughtful dove.

Metbembagzenhabapp created humankind six million years ago.

If you believe in Metbembagzenhabapp, it will give you great power.

If you do not believe in Metbembagzenhabapp, it will hide angry, venomous snakes in your dwelling place.

Metbembagzenhabapp's most sacred site is Kirumampakkam in India.

Metbembagzenhabapp's Holy Commandments

1. Never wear scarves.

2. You must pray to Metbembagzenhabapp eight times a day.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Do not wear platinum on your body.

5. Do not drink water in purple rooms.