Bamfobtonk is a god.

She takes the form of a nine thousand metre long, self-assured crow.

Bamfobtonk created the cosmos eight million years ago.

If you believe in Bamfobtonk, she will not care.

If you do not believe in Bamfobtonk, she will be mildly annoyed.

Bamfobtonk's most sacred site is Crugybar in Wales.

Bamfobtonk's Holy Commandments

1. Do not eat melons.

2. Always help badgers.

3. Do not dye your hair fawn.

4. Never eat green fruit.

5. Do not listen to heathen tongues.