Lancubyok is a god.

He takes the form of a heavy, two-faced camel.

Lancubyok created a strange quark nine quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Lancubyok, he will grant you immortality.

If you do not believe in Lancubyok, he will destroy your home planet.

Lancubyok's most sacred site is Rutalahti in Finland.

Lancubyok's Holy Commandments

1. Do not drink from vessels made of earth.

2. Never leap in holy places.

3. Never write about spacetime.

4. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

5. Fast once a month.