Bedvanjarn is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, sapient human.

Bedvanjarn created the Cigar Galaxy two trillion years ago.

If you believe in Bedvanjarn, he will be shocked.

If you do not believe in Bedvanjarn, he will turn you into a mouse.

Bedvanjarn's most sacred site is Kirumampakkam in India.

Bedvanjarn's Holy Commandments

1. Pray towards the north.

2. Never think about chlorophyll.

3. Bedvanjarn loves turtles, so they must be honoured.

4. Always look after injured voles.

5. Never wear stockings.