Mishivhatlarn is a god.

She takes the form of an exceedingly fat, happy dugong.

Mishivhatlarn created bats six million years ago.

If you believe in Mishivhatlarn, she will give you a free moon.

If you do not believe in Mishivhatlarn, she will curse you with boils.

Mishivhatlarn's most sacred site is Altata in Mexico.

Mishivhatlarn's Holy Commandments

1. Always make a point of helping unfortunate whales.

2. Do not skip in public.

3. Do not kill eagles.

4. Fast once a month.

5. Do not hurt aardvarks.