Faskenquafappfunominort is a god.

It takes the form of a gargantuan, staggering ferret.

Faskenquafappfunominort created the Small Magellanic Cloud four years ago.

If you believe in Faskenquafappfunominort, it will give you lots of grapes.

If you do not believe in Faskenquafappfunominort, it will jump up and down fuming with rage.

Faskenquafappfunominort's most sacred site is Romlund in Denmark.

Faskenquafappfunominort's Holy Commandments

1. Faskenquafappfunominort must be the most important thing in your life.

2. Always obey Faskenquafappfunominort's priests.

3. Potatoes are unclean and must never pass your lips.

4. Do not speak about nuts.

5. You must love Faskenquafappfunominort.