Cadwegjin is a god.

He takes the form of a blubbery, almighty fly.

Cadwegjin created the planet Earth five quadrillion years ago.

If you believe in Cadwegjin, he will be happy.

If you do not believe in Cadwegjin, he will attempt to scare you with lightening.

Cadwegjin's most sacred site is Hetta in Finland.

Cadwegjin's Holy Commandments

1. Never think ill of sick geese.

2. Cadwegjin loves nematodes, so they must be honoured.

3. Erect five tin sculptures of Cadwegjin on top of important buildings.

4. Paint representations of galaxies on the walls of your dwelling place in brown.

5. Never talk about fire.