Stanmobfon is a god.

It takes the form of a fat, cheerful mole.

Stanmobfon created oxygen five trillion years ago.

If you believe in Stanmobfon, it will grant you eternal life.

If you do not believe in Stanmobfon, it will turn you into a slug.

Stanmobfon's most sacred site is Laurila in Finland.

Stanmobfon's Holy Commandments

1. Ponytails are unholy and must not be worn.

2. Respect rivers and do not attempt to bridge them.

3. Doors are unholy and should not be erected.

4. Never eat bark.

5. Never hop in holy places.