Nuttnakqueeg is a god.

He takes the form of a plump, happy squid.

Nuttnakqueeg created light five thousand years ago.

If you believe in Nuttnakqueeg, he will give you a massive pile of rare-earth elements.

If you do not believe in Nuttnakqueeg, he will turn you into a giant snail.

Nuttnakqueeg's most sacred site is Penhale in England.

Nuttnakqueeg's Holy Commandments

1. Always help grasshopers in need.

2. Always make a point of helping unfortunate seals.

3. Do not cook food in pots.

4. Never talk about dark matter near mites while wearing orange ear rings.

5. Put Nuttnakqueeg first in all things.