Begtamtar is a god.

It takes the form of a seven thousand metre long, overgenerous mole.

Begtamtar created light two thousand years ago.

If you believe in Begtamtar, it will laugh at you.

If you do not believe in Begtamtar, it will turn you into an amoeba.

Begtamtar's most sacred site is Fangchuan in China.

Begtamtar's Holy Commandments

1. Do not shelter from rain as it is holy.

2. Never play with disobedient children.

3. Never write about nucleic acids.

4. Never talk about dark energy.

5. Never think about comets.