Hitrapgigtaf is a god.

He takes the form of a seven hundred metre long, narcissistic walrus.

Hitrapgigtaf created silver nine thousand years ago.

If you believe in Hitrapgigtaf, he will grant all your wishes.

If you do not believe in Hitrapgigtaf, he will send twenty eight swans to peck you to death.

Hitrapgigtaf's most sacred site is Saint-Sauvan in France.

Hitrapgigtaf's Holy Commandments

1. Do not listen to music.

2. Learn eight new languages a year.

3. Hitrapgigtaf loves snakes, so they must be honoured.

4. Do not listen to heathen tongues.

5. Never think about optics near ducks while wearing gray hats and balancing seven gold spheres on your arms.